*WoManManual Currently Under Construction*: 45 Mistakes Men Make During Sex

Dear Men,

To speak on behalf of (almost) all women for now, there are some things women are not grateful for when you do them. Of course everybody is different but there are many things which count for almost everyone. To prevent you from being embarrassed I found a nice list with the 40 mistakes made during sex. I edited the list a bit since some of the mistakes were exaggerated and added a few things which were missing in my opinion, so now there are 45 mistakes. Read and learn!

Mistake 1. Not kissing first.
Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay.

Mistake 2. Blowing to hard in her ear.
Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.

Mistake 3. Not shaving.
You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which your rake repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.

Mistake 4. Squeezing her breast.
Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.

Mistake 5. Biting her nipples.
Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive in most girls. They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good. Pretending they're a dogie toy, isn't.

Mistake 6. Twiddeling her nipples.
Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and thumb like you're trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points and use the palm of your hand.

Mistake 7. Ignoring the other parts of her body.
A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body which you've ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So start paying some attention to her ears, neck, belly but also feet and legs for example.

Mistake 8. Getting the hand trapped.
Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled fingers and underpants. If you're going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the damn things off.

Mistake 9. Leaving her a present.
Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it, you store it.

Mistake 10. Attacking the clitoris.
Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers or tongue along side of the clitoris, the wetter the better.

Mistake 11. Stopping for a break.
Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there, keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.

Mistake 12. Undressing her awkwardly.
Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the waist with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid's toy.

Mistake 13 Giving her a wedgie during foreplay. 
Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy. Pulling the material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.

Mistake 14. Being obsessed with the vagina.
Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still believe that the vagina is where it's all at. No sooner is your hand down there than you're trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is okay in principle, but if you're not careful, it can hurt so don't get carried away. It's best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior ofher vagina at first, then gently slip ONE finger (not 3) inside her and see if she likes it.

Mistake 15. Massaging too roughly.
You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in the mood which is great. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.

Mistake 16. Undressing prematurely.
Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at least made some move toward getting your stuff off, even if it's just undoing a couple of buttons.

Mistake 17. Taking your pants off first.
A man in socks and underpants is a at his worst. Lose the socks first.

Mistake 18. Going too fast.
When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool - she'll soon feel like an assembly-line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly,with clean, straight, regular thrusts.

Mistake 19. Going too hard.
If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds.

Mistake 20. Coming too soon.
Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too. In this case it's even better to make her come before, than it's not that big of a deal.

Mistake 21. Not coming soon enough (or not at all).
It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least make sure she is still wet enough, otherwise you don't even have to ask the next day for more.

Mistake 22. Asking if she has come.
You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise, shake, breathe heavily etc. But if you really don't know, don't ask.

Mistake 23. Performing oral sex too gently.

Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.

Mistake 24. Nudging her head down.
Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this. It's about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use
her mouth, use yours in 2 ways; on her and try talking seductively to her.

Mistake 25. Not warning her before you climax. 
Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it as we saw here.When she's performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do what's necessary.

Mistake 26. Moving around during fellatio.
Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie there. And don't grab her head or push her down.

Mistake 27. Taking etiquette advice from porn movies.
In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means dirty, sticky stuff all over you and more laundry to do. Ask her if she is in for that.

Mistake 28. Making her ride on top for ages. 
Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all the hard work is not. Caress her gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so much like the captain of a schooner. Stimulate her with your hands or alternate a bit as well. And let her have a rest there are only few women who can sit on top long without getting cramps or becoming tired. 

Mistake 29. Attempting anal sex and pretending it was an accident.
This is how men earn a reputatio n for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk is an excuse.

Mistake 30. Taking pictures.
When a man says, "Can I take a photo of you?" she'll hear the words "...to show my buddies." At least let her have custody of them.

Mistake 31. Not being imaginative enough.

Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off. Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.

Mistake 32. Slapping your stomach against hers.
There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest.

Mistake 33. Arranging her in stupid poses.
Not only is it like the awkward undressing but also if she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.

Mistake 34. Looking for her prostate.

Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women DON'T.

Mistake 35. Giving love bites.
It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.

Mistake 36. Barking instructions.
You are in the bed together, on top of each other. Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It's not a big a turn-on. 

Mistake 37. Talking dirty.It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know, this usually starts with sexy textmessages.

Mistake 38. Not caring whether she comes.

One of the most important. You have to finish the job. Keep on trying unt il you get it right, and she might even do the same for you. Also know, most women wont ask for it, but they will discuss it with their friends..

Mistake 39. Squashing her.
Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too heavily, don't be surprised when she turns blue.

Mistake 40. Thanking her.
Never thank a woman for having sex with you.Your bedroom is not a soup kitchen.

After some comments about the first 40 I added a few more:

Mistake 41. Assuming every girl comes from sex.

Not every woman comes trough vaginal stimulation, so in this case focus on her clitoris if you don't get a notable respons on penetration.

Mistake 42. Not showered or washed.

This also means you should wash your dick after peeing. Don't expect a woman to dive on you dick if you just left the toilet. And also make sure your breath is not smelling.

Mistake 43. Not keeping account for roommates/neighbors.
You are having a nice evening and that's nice, but not everybody needs to know that. And make sure doors are closed and locked. You don't want your or her little brother showing up next to the bed.

Mistake 44. Comparing ex-partners or talking about them.
Think how much you want to know how big and thick her ex's dick was. Not that much right?

Mistake 45. Making scary noises or being totally quiet. Let her know you are enjoying, so make some sound but don't exaggerate or fake it. Women like the confirmation they get from the sound. This also helps you when the tables are turned.
Saying strange things are also scary noises.

So men, these were the 45 most common mistakes. Did you come across mistakes women make, let me know and I will make a list of them like this for the women as well!!
To to women who read this: If you know a mistake let me know and I'll add him here, or leave it in a comment below.